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Twisted Hearts



Title: Twisted Hearts
Rating: R
Genre: au!au
Disclaimer: Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. No disrespect intended.
Summary: Under cut


*This is a story told from Ennis's POV. He's an eighteen year old drug addict that winds up in a sober living facility. Jack is the residential counselor/adviser. As Jack helps Ennis with his sobriety, Ennis replaces his old addiction for a new one-Jack. Jack, a recovering addict himself, finds himself spiraling back into addiction, except this time his drug of choice is Ennis. Their love for one another becomes possessive, twisted, but pure and forgiving. Can they find a normal balance? What is "normal" anyway...

Links to previous chapters can be found here: lavender-snow.livejournal.com/




*Hey friends. I truly apologize for the long delay of this chapter. RL has been quite hectic. And thank you to those of you that took the time to message me about this story. It meant a lot to me :) Anyway, for those of you still reading, here's chapter 17. I hope you enjoy.*

Chapter 17

It's true what they say, once an addict, always an addict. Sure us head-case's weren't using drugs and alcohol anymore, but we all seemed to have replaced our old addiction for a new one.

For example, this bald guy, not sure what his name was, became completely obsessed with the gym. When he wasn't in class or therapy, he was there. This woman, I think her name was Margaret, she turned to food, and must have put on at least fifteen pounds since she checked in. All the other's were addicted to either cigarettes, coffee, television, or all three.

I had to wonder why these issues were never addressed, or even talked about, in therapy or group session. Was it because these forms of addiction were of the legal kind?

As for me, I craved nothing more in this world than Jack's love, attention, touch, smell, warmth-everything Jack. Jack was my legal addiction.

I understood we all had to take baby-steps. The first step being to get us off of drugs and alcohol. But what about the rest? What about functioning in our everyday, ordinary lives? Surely, going to the gym for six hours a day, or eating 5,000 calories a meal, or loving someone so much it hurt, wasn't healthy. Were we just supposed to accept the fact that we're broken and will always be addicted to something in one form or another? Or was it truly possible to find a "normal" balance?

Doc increased my Wellbutrin. It seemed to help some. At least now I wanted to open my eyes in the morning instead of my wrists. But I knew that taking some magic doctor pill wasn't going to be the only solution in this uphill battle called life. I needed to do my part and get my shit together as soon as possible.

My actions and emotions the past few weeks were more of that of a ten year-old child, than an eighteen year-old grown man, but I didn't know how else to deal with any of this shit. I never had to. That's what drugs were for. And I don't care what anybody says, when life throws a grenade at you, all the things you learn in therapy goes right out the window. At least...for me it does any way.

Dr. Lambertus had explained to me that in the initial healing and sobering process, some people find themselves regressing backwards-mentally and emotionally. He said it was normal, and in someways, even healthy. Healthy, so long as the patient is open to treatment and follows the necessary steps needed to move forward. He also told me, or shall I say warned me, that it wasn't going to be easy. He wasn't kiddin'...

***********

It was Jack's last day at New Horizons. I was beyond depressed. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, so I decided to try and enjoy what little time I had left with him.

I went to the cafe real early that morning and found him sitting alone, reading the newspaper. I fixed myself a sesame bagel, grabbed a cup of coffee, and walked over to his table.

"Hey."

"Morning," Jack said, smiling.

I planted myself in the chair across from him and smiled back.

"When do you leave?"

"Sometime this afternoon."

I tried not to look all bent out of shape, but hiding my emotions from Jack was never my strong point. Jack reached over the table and placed his hand on top of mine. "You'll be fine, Ennis. You will."

I swallowed hard and looked into his gentle eyes. "Jack? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you ever feel...stuck?"

"In what way?"

"Living in a place like this. I mean, I know you have your own apartment and all, but...don't you want more? Don't you want your own house someday? More privacy? It must feel as if you never leave work. Doesn't it?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "There are days I feel a little suffocated, but for the most part, I really do love my job. And yeah, I do plan on owning my own home someday." He paused and took a sip of his coffee. "It's just gonna take me a lot longer to get to that point." He took another sip, eyes looking into mine above the rim of his cup. "But that's what happens when ya screw up royally along the way I guess."

I instantly felt like an asshole. "Jack, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I just-"

"Hey, I know. I know. I didn't take it that way."

I lowered my head. "Guess we're both big fuck-up's, huh?"

Jack quietly laughed. "Nah. Not intentionally anyway. We just had it rough growin' up and chose the wrong way of dealing with it. Could be a lot worse, Ennis. It could be. You know that."

"I know. I'm just starting to stress out again. I only have a couple weeks left here, and I'm not even sure if I have a home to go home to."

"When's the last time you heard from your mother?"

"Not since the fiasco at the Amethyst House."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I tried to call her a couple times, but she never returned my calls. Not surprised."

"Look, I know you're freaking out about a lot of things right now, but just remember-one day at a time. Yeah, that sounds kind of lame and cliche, but they really are words to live by. Trust me, Ennis. I know what you're going through."

"So...how'd you do it? How'd you worm your way in here? Job wise, I mean. And how the hell have you managed to get Dr. Lambertus under your thumb the way you have? No offense, Jack, but you haven't exactly been "employee of the month" material lately.

Jack forced a weak smile and neatly folded his newspaper. "Let's go outside and talk for a minute."

This couldn't be good...

*************

I followed Jack into the courtyard. The morning air was cool and comfortable. Thank God, because I was hot and nervous as hell.

"Ennis. I have something I've been wanting to tell you." His voice was shaky and low.

My heart began to beat so hard I thought it might explode. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I didn't. I wanted to cover my ears, run back inside, and pretend like everything was okay. "I can't handle this right now, Jack. Whatever it is. I can't handle it."

Jack stroked the side of my face with the back of his hand. "It's not what you think, Ennis. It's not about you and me."

"What is it then?" I asked when I felt I could breathe again.

Jack shifted closer to me and scuffed the heel of his sneaker into the gravel below. "Ennis..." He looked up. Our eyes met. "The reason Doc and I are so close is...because I was with his son when he died."

My eyebrows came together at warp-speed. "What? What do you mean you were with him? You were there when he overdosed?"

Jack scratched the back of his head. "Not exactly. We were together, as in...a couple."

Am I beyond fucked up for being jealous as hell of a dead guy?

I stared at Jack's soft, pink lips for a second and felt my stomach churn at the thought of them kissing anyone else's but mine. I knew Jack had had his share of guys, but this particular one hit a little too close to home.

I tried to play it cool and adult-like, but failed miserably. "What?! You mean...you and Doc's son?! You were a couple?!" I stood up from the bench and threw my hands in the air. "What the...why the hell didn't you say somethin' sooner? Huh?"

Jack looped an arm around my waist. "Hey, lower your voice. Sit down. Sit back down."

I reluctantly returned my ass to the bench, intentionally creating a large gap between us. Jack inched closer to me and put his hand on my knee. I studied the dimples on his knuckles and the half-moons on his fingernails.

I sucked in a breath through my nose. "Did you love him?"

Jack squeezed my knee real tight. "That was a long time ago."

"Did you?"

"On some level I did. I was so young, Ennis. And to be honest, I think the only thing I really loved at the time was getting high."

Well, this sure as hell explained why Doc hadn't fired Jack's ass for all the trouble he'd gotten into recently. "How'd...how'd you meet?"

The morning sun broke through the fluffy clouds, warming our faces. Jack squinted his eyes. "At a party. He had just come out of the closet to his parents and was given the old heave-ho. He was pretty messed up. I had just gone through the same thing, so...misery loves company."

"Doc told me about that."

Jack looked surprised. "He told you about what?"

"About turning his back on his son, but he obviously never mention that you were his son's boyfriend at the time."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Actually, no one knows about it, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Cross my heart, Jack. I won't say a word." I placed my hand on top of his. "I'm sorry I overreacted. I just thought....I don't like keeping secrets from each other, Jack."

"I know, Ennis. I know. No more secrets. But you understand why I didn't tell you right away, don't you?"

I nodded. "How long were you together?" As ridiculously jealous as I was, if Jack and I were ever going to be in a serious relationship, I had to hear this. I had to hear all of it, even if it stung a little...or a lot.

"I'm not really sure. A few months maybe? Truthfully, most of that time was a complete blur."

"What happened? I mean, why did he-"

"He wanted out. He just wanted out."

"Jesus. That's so sad."

"Yeah, well..." Jack brushed his shoulder to mine. "Did you use like that? Intentionally take so much shit you hoped you wouldn't wake up?"

"No. Not intentionally. Thought about it all the time though. Guess I was too scared."

"Me too," Jack said quietly.

"You know, Jack, there were days I'd wake up and say, I can and will quit. I will make something of myself. But I never followed through. I couldn't. I couldn't do it without usin'."

Jack nudged his nose against the shell of my ear and whispered, "That's how come we's end up here, I guess."

***********

After group session, I went to my room and waited for Jack. He said he was going to stop by before returning to the Amethyst House. I wasn't sure how many more goodbyes I could take...

"Ennis?" Jack walked in and quietly closed the door behind him.

"Hey." I sat up in bed and tried to smile.

Jack eased down beside me. "I'll be back next weekend. Gotta do some more orientation stuff." He lightly stroked my lower back. "Gonna miss you."

My eyes lit up. "You are? I mean...it's just that...you said it first."

Jack smiled real big. "C'mere, you." He wrapped his strong arms around my frail body and hugged the loneliness right out of me.

"I'm tryin'. I'm really tryin' here, Jack," I choked out, grasping the sleeve of his blue sweater.

"Shh. I know you are. I know"

I broke away from his embrace and wiped my eyes. "Jack? Do you miss me just as much as I miss you? Or am I just totally screwed up and mental and twisted and-"

"Shh...Shh." Jack pulled into his chest and rested his chin atop my head. "Yes."

"Yes, what?" I said, sniffling.

"I miss you just as much."

"Jack, promise you'll wait for me. Promise me that. I'll get better. I will. I swear. I just don't know what I'd do if...if I found out you met someone else or-"

Jack lifted my chin. "Ennis." He kissed me hard. I felt every bit of his need and want and love for me. Our lips parted. "I ain't goin' nowhere."

*************

I went to therapy shortly after Jack left. That was huge waste of time. I had nothing to say. Well, actually I did, but between what Jack had told me earlier and our goodbyes, my mind was a million light-years away from planet earth.

**************

After therapy, I thought I'd have the rest of the day to myself. That went right out the window when Dr. Lambertus said he wanted to introduce me to a couple new patients. I was looking forward to that more than my first root canal.

Anne was a strung-out, lanky lookin' girl with straggly brown hair. I was told she was nineteen. She looked at least forty.

Joe had just turned eighteen. He looked his age, maybe even a little younger. He was a tall guy with short black hair and big green eyes. He kind of reminded me of my only friend in high school.

"This is Ennis. He's going to show you around the facility and answer any questions you may have," Dr. Lambertus said.

I am? Since when? I bit my tongue. "Uh. Hi." I extended my hand for a shake.

"Send them to my office when you're through," Dr. Lambertus said to me.

"Um. Okay..."

************

"So, this is the library. There's Internet access here if that's your thing or whatever..." I remember exactly how I felt when Jack gave me the "Grand Tour" of the Amethyst House. I was pissed off, confused, lost and scared to death. Not to mention horny as hell. How could I not have been with a tour guide as good looking as Jack?

"How long you been in here?" Joe asked me.

"Not that long. I was at the Amethyst House for a few weeks before coming here. That's Doc's other rehab facility in Vermont."

He smirked. "Wow. So, this is your second stint in rehab, huh? You musta been pretty fucked up."

Funny, I never thought about it like that, but in some weird way, yeah, I guess I was that fucked up. "Somethin' like that..."

"How come you're here? Why didn't you just stay at the other rehab place?" Anne asked, twirling a long strand of hair around her finger.

Gee, let's see....Doc's head counselor and I fell in love, we broke every rule imaginable and even managed to get ourselves arrested. "Doc just felt this place would be a better fit for me...I guess."

"Oh." Anne's eyes lazily scanned the library. She looked pretty out of it. Too out of it.

"Are you alright?" I gently grabbed her arm and turned her around in my direction.

She shrugged my hand from her body. "I'm fucking fine. You?" Her pupils were the size of saucers. Great. Just what I needed...

"Hey, chill. I'm just askin'." Speaking from personal experience, nothing enrages an addict more than questions and accusations about their state of "sobriety."

"I'm fine," Anne said, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"Is it alright if I hop on the computer for a sec?" Joe asked. "I want to check my Email."

"Yeah. Sure," I replied, watching Anne stumble toward the back of the library.

I left Joe to check his Email and quickly walked over to Anne. I knew I had to choose my words wisely. "Anne, there's a nice comfy couch over here. Why don't you sit down. I'm sure you're exhausted." 

The corners of her eyes and mouth began to twitch. "Huh?"

"Here. Come sit." I cautiously took her by the hand and led her to the sofa.

She slumped down beside me, tilted her head back, and closed her eyes.

"Hey, Anne? I'll be right back, okay? You gonna be alright here for a second?"

She smiled a-I don't give a fuck what you just said because I'm high-smile and nodded. "I'm fine."

With the strung out chick safe on the couch, I slipped out the back door and ran to Doc's office.

"Hey, Doc. We gotta little problem."

Doc removed his glasses. "What's up?"

"That new girl, Anne. She's as high as a kite."

Doc rose from his chair. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. I've got her sitting on the couch in the library. I didn't know what else to do with her. Joe's there, too, but he's on the computer."

"Okay. I'll take it from here."

I nodded and just as I was about to exit the office, Doc said, "Thanks, Ennis."

***********

Seeing how messed up Anne was earlier made me really sad. Truth is, people don't just do drugs and get hooked on them for fun. People use to cope with pain and grief and loneliness and self-hatred. All that stuff. There's nothing fun about not being able to function without some toxic chemical running through your bloodstream. It's horrible. It's absolutely horrible.

I must admit, I didn't feel bad ratting Anne out. Actually, I felt good. I felt like I did the right thing...for once. I only wish I had Jack beside me to talk to. To tell him that I was actually proud of myself. But I was alone. You'd think I'd be used it by now. I'm not.

Christ, when is this all gonna end? When?

I crawled into bed, rested my head on my pillow and looked out the window. I usually love looking at the night sky and all the twinkling stars above.

That night, I hated the stars because I was looking at the same ones as Jack, without him...

Comments

( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
mariez65
Sep. 22nd, 2010 02:03 am (UTC)
Lavender, it's great to see you and your guys :) No need to apologize - real life should always come first!

Ennis is making some good observations and asking some good questions, which shows he is thinking about his addiction and that seems healthy. That was some revelation Jack made - it becomes even more clear why Dr. Lambertus takes such a personal interest in him and now Ennis, too. I love how gentle, but firm and loving Jack is with Ennis. It seems that Ennis has taken an important step in "ratting Anne out" and feeling good about it. I hope he can hold on to that feeling and let it give him strength. Thanks for the update!
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC)
Hey Marie,
Thanks so very much for commenting and hanging with my story :) I plan on posting the remainder of this story soon! Thanks so very, very much for your sweet comments.
Lavender
cosmok44
Sep. 22nd, 2010 02:48 am (UTC)
So glad to see you & your story are back! Ennis handled himself very well in this chapter, even Jack leaving didn't seem overly tramatic too him. He was real good with the new patients too and recognizing someone in trouble and doing something about it instead of just ignoring it. (Understand some more why Dr. L is more tolerent of Jack too) Look forward to more - hope RL is treating you better. Thnx, Gail
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
Hey Gail,
Thanks so much for you comment! I'm sorry I've let this story slide, but I assure you I have every intention of finishing and posting it. Thanks so much for your heartfelt comments, I truly appreciate it.
Lavender
bbmbeliever
Sep. 22nd, 2010 04:10 am (UTC)
glad you are still writing this story!
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:23 pm (UTC)
Hey BBMBeliever,
Yes, I have every intention of finishing this story. It's very dear to me, but unfortunately, RL got in the way. I will be posting again real soon. Thanks for hangin' with me!
Lavender
(Deleted comment)
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:24 pm (UTC)
Hey Tracy,
I'm glad you liked that part, wonder why...LOl. Thanks for reading and commenting my sweet boy.
Lavender
eandj
Sep. 22nd, 2010 05:46 am (UTC)
I'm glad you're back and RL gives you time to write again
I really loved the beginning here. Ennis is growing up, taking responsibility for his own actions and tries to move forward. That's good.
Jack's telling about Dr.LAmbertus' son was interesting.
really good chapter
thank you
Paula
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:26 pm (UTC)
Hey Paula,
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment on my story even though it's been ages since I've updated...RL has got in the way, but I assure you, I will be posting soon and have every intention of finishing this story. Thank you so much for your comment!
Lavender
(Deleted comment)
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks for you comment, Loreen. RL has been weird lately and I really appreciate your comment. Thanks for reading, friend.
LavEnder
lucerodelalba
Sep. 22nd, 2010 06:14 am (UTC)
I've been hoping you would be back with your story and I was really happy waking up this morning and see the icon I've been waiting for :)! Tell me about the real life... I'm at the same situation myself. As for the story, they are making it forward, I can see and as Ennis, I'm wondering how many goodbyes there are still going to be for them?
I hope you are doing ok "in this uphill battle called life" :)
Johanna
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:29 pm (UTC)
((Johanna))
Thanks so much for kind words. I'm truly sorry I've let this story slide, but when RL gets in the way, there's not a whole lot I can do. Thanks so much for your comments, and I assure you, I have every intention of finishing this story soon! Thanks again!
Lavender
tanzmaeusi
Sep. 22nd, 2010 07:14 am (UTC)
I´m very glad this story is back, I really missed it, it´s one of the few stories I´m still reading in this fandom.
I think Ennis is definitely staring to get better, even if he doesn´t realise it himself over all his yearning for Jack. He´s reflecting his own behaviour and his addiction now and he´s taking responsibility for others too, these are the first steps into this independent and responsible life of his own that´s he´s wondering about.
Have a nice and not too stressful day,
all the best,
Claudia
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:32 pm (UTC)
Hey Claudia,
I have to say, you always have the best avatars! Thanks so much for you comments. I'm so happy you're still hangin in there with my story. RL got in the way, but I assure you, I have every intention of finishing this soon! Thanks again so much for your kind words and sticking with me!
Lavender
roby100
Sep. 22nd, 2010 10:25 am (UTC)
Another beautiful chapter and with an enexpected twist: Jack and doc's son!
I love Ennis, he is really trying to do his best and he did very well with the new girl.
It's sad that they are still in different facilities but they are going to see each other soon and this makes me happy.
I love this story so much, the guys have a permanent spot in my heart.

A big hug
Roby
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:34 pm (UTC)
(((Roby)))
Thanks so much for your kind comments. I'm sorry I've let this story slide, but I assure you, I have every intention of finishing this story and giving these guys the sweet, loving life they deserve. Thanks so much for your inspiration, Roby, I mean that, friend.
Lavender
joetheone
Sep. 22nd, 2010 12:08 pm (UTC)
together and apart
The stars and the moon always link us together when we are apart from the ones we love or care about. I like how Ennis took control of the situation even though he did not want to do this. Joe
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:35 pm (UTC)
Re: together and apart
Aw, Joe, you're so sweet. Thanks so much for your comments. I'm so sorry for letting this story slide, but I assure you I have every intention of finishing this story soon! Thank you so much for sticking with me!
Lavender
annabuffy
Sep. 22nd, 2010 12:47 pm (UTC)
Welcom back, sorry to hear RL was hectic, hope all is well. It seems like very slowly Ennis is getting better and he doesn't even realize it. Him realizing the girl was high and telling the Dr. was a good thing. And Ennis's observations are also good. Glad he realizes that sometimes you trade one addiction for another. But I'm glad that he knows he needs to get himself together. I hope that when Ennis's time at the center is done, he doesn't have to go back to live with his mother. If he does, he'll be usisng within a few weeks again.
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks Anna! You're so sweet. Thanks so much for stickin' with me. I'm sorry that I've let this story slide, but unfortunately, RL got in the way of my creativity. I assure you I plan on finishing this story and soon. Thanks again, Anna for your wonderful comments!
Lavender
bbmcowgirl
Sep. 22nd, 2010 01:58 pm (UTC)
Happy that RL gave you a break and thrilled you thought of us when it did. Wonderful chapter. Ennis may not think it but he's come a long way. His insights seem spot on and letting the Doc know about Anne was the right thing to do. I think in time Ennis will make a great councilor.
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you BBMcowgirl. I'm so flattered you have stuck with me and this story, even though it's been so long since I've updated...I do, however, plan on finishing this story soon! Thanks so very much!
Lavender
hampshirerose
Sep. 22nd, 2010 06:31 pm (UTC)
LS! Hello! Good to see you back - you and this story were missed!

Baby steps are definitely being taken - Ennis is growing up,getting stronger and Jack is admitting to his feelings more....you do write the complexities well.

Hope RL will stay calmer for you.

Rose
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:32 pm (UTC)
Hey Rose!
Thanks so much for your kind comment :) I'm so happy you're sticking with this story, even though it seems like forever since I've last posted. I do however, promise to post again real soon and have every intention of finishing this story :)
Lavender
kizziecat
Sep. 22nd, 2010 07:07 pm (UTC)
Ennis is maturing and starting to think things out about his addiction and addiction in general. I liked how the Dr asked him to show the new people round the unit thus giving him some responsibility. He proved himself right away by being worried about Anne and reporting it to the Dr.
Jack is so good and kind with Ennis and though it is hard for them to be apart, it will probably be best for them in the long run. Thank you for getting back to this story. I have missed it.

Paula
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:34 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks, Paula.
Thanks so much for you lovely comment. I'm sorry I've let this story slide, but I assure you I plan on posting and finishing this story soon. Thanks again, friend.
Lavender
grlewis
Sep. 22nd, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
well, i have to say i'm very happy to see that you had an opportunity to wrote another chapter. i have sorely missed this story, even if i didn't think to wrote you a note and prod you. i usually don't think of that as a viable option.

i'm glad that jack told ennis more about his past with dr. lambertus' son. it shows him opening up more to ennis and sharing more of himself. glad that ennis got over his jealousy so well.

everyone has mentioned that ennis seems to be growing and that he did well to tell dr. lambertus about anne's condition. but what i haven't noticed is anyone thinking how good it is that dr. lambertus is trusting ennis to take over an important role, representing the facility. it bodes well for ennis' future.

i too am wondering what will happen to ennis when he finishes the program in a few weeks. he can't go home and i think he's not really ready to be set up in a place on his own and have to find a job. it may stress him too much, no matter what the aftercare support. he needs to be with jack. i like that he realizes that he's replaced one addiction with another and recognizes how others are doing the same thing. i just happen to approve of his addiction. but i still wish he wasn't so needy of jack just to survive.

i hope rl has released you from it's busy grip. it is always nice to have things to do, but sometimes there can be too much. i'm hoping you will have time to write more of this wonderful story before too long. i absolutely love it and look forward to each new chapter.

gr
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:35 pm (UTC)
((GR))
Thanks so much for you comments, I really appreciate it. I'm sorry I let this story slide for so long, but unfortunately, RL got in the way, but I assure you, I plan on posting and finishing this story very soon. Thanks again, GR!
Lavender
abraccio
Sep. 24th, 2010 11:19 am (UTC)
*That night, I hated the stars because I was looking at the same ones as Jack, without him...*

My thoughts immediately went to the lyrics Kissing you by Des'ree.....

Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you
My soul cries

Thank you,

Juliette

lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:37 pm (UTC)
Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you
My soul cries

Beautiful lyrics, Juliette and so, so fitting. Thank you so much for your lovely comment and thanks for sticking with this story, even though it's been a while since I've posted. I do however, plan on posting and finishing this story soon! Thanks again, friend!
Lavender
luvenck
Sep. 25th, 2010 03:39 am (UTC)

Aah, Lavender... So very happy to see you back.

A great chapter. Covered a lot of new points in your story. I'm glad Jack and Ennis were able to have that last talk. I think it had an amazing impact on Ennis. Ennis has finally grown up enough to realize his insecurities, and I feel he really wants to work the program, recover enough to be with Jack, and make a life. It's so totally understandable about him being afraid to lose Jack, as he's never had anything he's ever really wanted in his life.

I was very happy about him going to Dr Lambertus about Anne. He even felt he was. That's working the program.

As far as him looking at the stars and thinking about Jack...Jack was looking at those same stars, and his head was wrapped up in Ennis too.

Awesome story. So glad things are working out for you a little better.

Love and Hugs
CAT



lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:39 pm (UTC)
(( CAT)))

Thanks honey. I really appreciate your comments and I'm so very sorry to hear about your sister. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I hope to post and finish this story soon. Thanks again and be strong, friend.
Lavender
freetraveller15
Sep. 25th, 2010 02:22 pm (UTC)
Loving this chapter so much, especially the talk between Jack and Ennis (with Jack's revelation), and Ennis dealing with the newcomers and his subsequent thoughts about whether ratting Anne out was right or wrong. He's come a long way...

Thank you for sharing,
Paola
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:41 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks so much Paola! I really appreciate and want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sweet comments. I do plan on posting and finishing this story very soon! Thanks again, Paola!
Lavender
fl1789
Sep. 26th, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)
It's great to see a new chapter of this story.The boys still have a long road ahead of them. I hope they can make it in the end


good to see you back,Lavender

hugs,

fl.
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:43 pm (UTC)
((FL))
Thank you! I'm so happy you're still sticking with my story, even though it's been a while since I've last posted. Anyway, I really appreciate your comments and do plan on posting and finishing this story soon! Thanks again :)
Lavender
argentine65
Sep. 26th, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC)
Twisted hearts
Thank you for bringing back this troubled boys. Ennis is getting better because now he understand more, not only himself but others too. Thank you again. Martha
lavender_snow
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC)
Re: Twisted hearts
(((Martha)))
Thank you so much, honey. I really appreciate your comments and thank you so, so much for sticking with me, even though it's been a while since I last posted. I do however, plan on posting and finishing this story very soon. Thanks again, Martha :)
Lavender
zhouhua00
Nov. 12th, 2010 03:35 pm (UTC)
The worst is definitely behind our boys now
This chapter gave me a lot of happiness and peace.

After all the anguish and pain in the previous chapters, it looks like both our boys are on the right track - Ennis is recovering well, Jack will get back to his old job, and the worst is definitely behind them now (At least I hope so!)

I am really glad that the good Doc trusted Ennis with the new patients, and Ennis is obviously doing a good job. I don't know where he is going after the program, but I do believe a 18-year-old should find a way to live a decent living all by himself - after all, this is most of the 18-year-old do in this country. Ennis is an adult now, and I sincerely hope he acts like one.
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